Senin, 26 Desember 2011

Up Up and Get Away

Inside all of us lurks a mighty force! A force that if harnessed could create a powerful superhero! And Patty Owen and Harold Ladino learned this many years ago. And so faster than a speeding bull frog, they created lives more powerful than the crazy train and leapt off the tallest buildings to become Shanti and Arjuna.
I first learned about these two when I watched a Wife-Swap marathon on television tonight. On this episode, a mild mannered conservative family in the Mid-West is introduced into a woman dressed like a stripper in a cape,  while the conservative mother is thrust into a world of costumes and workshops to teach you to become a superhero!
It was these workshops that caught my interest! I had to know what they entailed so I sought out the truth...
The first workshop that they offer is called the Superhero Playshop. This is a program designed to turn you from a shy, but normally functioning adult into a costumed freak that believes he has super powers but is able to express himself! This workshop is geared for people wondering why they came into this world but needed a better answer than "my parents didn't choose an abortion?" Harold (AKA Arjuna) considers himself a Tantra Instructor and during this workshop he will help you "explore your passions." I would think it would be awesome to talk about passion with a man that dresses like Wonder Woman and washes his family's dishes while wearing fairy wings! They claim that the skills learned in this workshop help with parenting, sex and relationships - and nothing will help ensure  that there is no sex faster than taking a girl to the movies while wearing a skirt, a blue wig, and a polka-dotted cape!
Maybe Phoenix Jones (AKA Ben Fodor) took their course and that is why he took to fighting crime in Seattle. PJ was arrested and taken to court after he broke up a fight using pepper spray! Only when the judge ordered it did PJ remove his costume!
But back in the world of Shanti and Arjuna, there are many other workshops that they offer.
One of these is called the Love In. I think this is hosted by Austin Powers. It teaches dating and sex advice to anyone that will seriously listen to them. For $750 Shanti and Arjuna show up in full costume! Of course if you don't want the full experience for a mere $500 they will come dressed like a normal person - and who wants that! They call this a "sexy meet and greet" that helps sexy singles mingle!
For people looking to explore their inner feminine side or get more in touch with their masculinity, the superhero couple offer courses tailored to these individual ideas! Pink Tea Talk is hosted by Arjuna the fairy wing wearing maid Shanti with a few pop-ins by her allegedly straight husband Arjuna. Rock training hosted by the uber-masculine Arjuna helps men find their "inner masculinity."
They also offer Scare workshops that are the most appropriately named workshops on the list as the sight of a man in make-up and a dress talking to me about feelings would scare the hell out of me!
The last service they offer is called Ecstatic Relationships. I have no idea what this involves, but I think you have to take a hit of X to participate! I must be on to something because I think these two are tripping on acid. After all, Arjuna told the conservative woman on Wife-Swap that he can fly but only when he's in the mood which at the moment he was not. Maybe if conservative mom had given him some blow he would have jumped into traffic to show off his invulnerability!
Packages range from $150 to $750 depending on how gullible you are! I plan to waste my life savings on the 2 hour photo option with additional make-up artist!
Perched atop the rooftops, I, the Bountiful Blogger, will use my super powerful insight to show the world how ridiculous it is to wander around town in tights.

Tidak ada komentar:

Posting Komentar