Rain Rain Go Away So I Can Get Out From Under My Bed

I hate storms. Readers, there is nothing on this planet that will make me wet myself faster than lightening except maybe bears. And if they are lightening bears I may have a heart attack.
A major storm just came through and devastated my tiny home town. So if you're a local and haven't heard yet, that isn't a wood burning stove you smell...you're house is on fire.
I was awoken to the sound of a banshee singing at my window while a dozen bears beat against my walls. The ordeal left me without power and without bullets as I fired 500 rounds of ammunition towards the bears only I could see...a direction which also happened to be my neighbors house.
After making my way to a closet where I hid for seven hours weeping like a little girl, the storm finally ended.
So, I cleaned myself upand ventured out into the world...and was saddened to see that so many buildings had burned to the ground.
Lightening and tornadoes had ripped through my little hamlet and destroyed several businesses and left many without power. Luckily (as of this writing) no one was hurt.
I caught up with a local reporter and chatted her up. Once I finished flirting, I inquired into the extent of the damage.
And it was pretty bad.
And that's why I say, if there is anything worse than bears its bears hurling lightening bolts from the sky to strike out against those that would harm or hoard or even look at a defenseless teddy.