I Scream For Equal Rights

Folks, I am a proponent for gay marriage. Mainly because I think they should be allowed to be as miserable as straight people...after all, marriage might make them all a little less "gay." Which is why I am happy to announce that Ben & Jerry's UK division is changing the name of its apple pie flavored ice cream to "Apple-y Ever After."
The new packaging features two men holding a bouquet of flowers atop a wedding cake that is accented in rainbows. It's a very joyful looking package - which is reflective of many marriages at first...until she starts nagging and he gets lazy and they accuse the other of sucking the life out of them...I think this transition is called the Honeymoon. The renaming is in response to the UK's decision to legalize gay marriage and the discriminating relationship status of "in a civil union." Makes it sound like they work for the Post Office or something, doesn't it?
Ben & Jerry's has partnered with Stonewall, a gay rights organizations, to create a Facebook fan page and website that allows you to 'marry' anyone you want. I married Cleopatra. See how happy we are! I wonder if that makes me 'King of Egypt' now?
I just wish this flavor was available state side! And think of the other flavors that Ben & Jerry's could roll out to support this trend!
How about a flavor called "Strapped On & Split?" This could be a variation of a banana split ice cream with sprinkles. The packaging could depict two cartoonish women trying to tie a banana to a bowl.
Or maybe one named "Truck Route." This would be a chocolate caramel rocky road concoction with swirls of strawberry sauce mixed in. It could picture a semi driving along a river of chocolate-strawberry deliciousness!
They already have a few flavors that could use new pictures like "Buried Treasure" or "Cinnamon Buns."
Imagine new box art for those! Ben & Jerry's is famous for pushing the envelope - take their flavor "Schweddy Balls!"
This isn't the first time the company has changed a brand of ice cream to show support for divorce lawyers gay marriage, back in 2009, the company renamed "Chubby Hubby" to "Hubby Hubby" to support the gay marriage legislation in Vermont. Vermont was the first state to allow same sex marriage that did not require a court to tell them to do so.
So come on B&J, make me some ice cream that is provocative, yet socially conscious. Stimulate my sympathy by making me fat.

I'd Offer a Prayer, But Secretly God Hates You

I must say that I am surprised! I was also appalled, but the situation has been rectified as of this morning.
Folks, on Friday it was brought to my attention that a church in Kentucky had placed a ban on interracial marriage. They quoted a bible verse from Klanrithians 6:66 as the reasoning behind the ban. That particular verse quotes Jesus as saying "Let each man take upon him one wife, regardless if she is closer kin than 1st cousin and she must be of the same complexion."

The church members voted unanimously to make interracial relationships unholy after Stella Harville brought her fiance, Ticha Chikuni, to church with her one Sunday to perform a song with her. That's because there is nothing Jesus dislikes more than a loving couple making beautiful music together. Even though it was the couple that sang "I Surrender All," it was the congregation that surrendered all its common sense, respect and credibility. They claimed they made this move to help "preserve unity within the community." Because nothing screams unifying like blindly hating people for no reason!

The Gulnare Freewill Baptist Church lived up to it's name by freely imposing it's will on the non-racist parishioners of this small Kentucky community. Among other things, they voted to have an annual "Burning of the Cross Parade" and a "Let's Burn an Irish Effigy Celebration." They wanted to post these events on the Internet, but they don't have computers in the Stone Age.
Pastor Stacy Stepp immediately backpedaled after the public backlash and allegedly told parishioners to "be racist at home, but I don't want angry black people on our church's lawn." The church then unanimously repealed the ban.
Way to stick to your ignorant beliefs! First you outright humiliate a loving Christian couple, then you turn around 3 days later and say "Oops, our bad?" I think you should offer to cover this couples entire wedding and ceremony and then throw in the honeymoon to show that you truly are repentant!
Maybe throw in some counseling to help these two get past the pain of thinking God hates them! Nothing says "I'm not an inbred racist asshole like paying for an interracial couples entire wedding ceremony, reception and the trip to Kenya that they must be planning!
Because let's face it, an interracial couple is only going to destroy the beauty and sanctity of a marriage anyway right? After all, marriage in America means prostitutes, divorce, verbal, physical, and mental abuse so we wouldn't want an entire group of people adding love to that formula - that wouldn't be right!
I'm sure that they will claim they are trying to maintain the blood-line by inbreeding, but frankly I think they should stop huffing paint and join the modern world. If not to promote unity, then to maybe focus on that tolerance thing that Jesus talked about in my bible. But I guess in Redneckburbia it is acceptable to start tossing stones before anyone can see their own wrongdoings that happen in their own glass houses.

Thanks to the radiantly beautiful Kristie Henry for bringing this to my attention!