The Violence Adds To My Understanding

An unnamed teacher from the Trinidad Center City School of Washington, D.C., has been fired for doing the unthinkable: creating a learning environment that encourages students to stay awake, pay attention, and desire - math!
The teacher landed in hot water because they used word problems that alluded to violence, death, or illegal activities to engage the third grade students. The teacher was using a teaching module from Singapore math. Some of the problems included:

"Tilda Tiger had many hungry children to feed on Thanksgiving Day. She caught 169 Africans, 526 Americans and 196 Indians. She then put the people equally into 9 enormous ovens to bake. How many desperate people were in each oven?"

and another

"I boarded a train going to hell and saw some devils in the train. 3641 devils got off the train at Inferno Station to terrorize the locals there. 1049 devils got off at Lost Souls Station to eat lunch at Lucifer's Lovely Pizzas. If there were 419 devils left in the train headed for hell, how many devils were in the train at first?"

or

" When a mad sorcerer summoned a demon out of hell, he almost fainted in horror. The
hideous demon had 9999 writhing tentacles sticking out of its ears and mouth. If the creature
had 1111 tentacles sticking out of its left ear and 5287 tentacles sticking out of its right ear,
how many tentacles were sticking out of its mouth?"

Personally, I would rather hear about how much meth an addict can ingest instead of how many apples Susie picked. The problem with those "old-school" math problems is that they didn't relate to the students! No one picks apples - unless it's for their job and they are here illegally! But most kids in Washington, D.C., can relate to members of S.W.A.T. shooting their drug peddling neighbors!

Dr. Beverley Wheeler, the CEO of Center City PCS, which oversees Trinidad stated, "It doesn't follow anything we do. We are about character, excellence and service and I found them to be violent and racist."
None of the problems I saw were racist! "Specie-st" maybe, but not racist! Also, I think I have seen more violence in an episode of Scooby Doo.
I mean, let's face it...math is boring. No one likes it...and anyone that does...well they suck and I wouldn't hang out with them anyway! Math is the subject used to put kids to sleep and to study resting patterns. And the only reason this teacher got in trouble was because his/her students managed to complete their assignments! The school would have fired him/her regardless of whether the math problems involved killing terrorists or trains driving towards each other if the students managed to actually learn! Because if they learned math, they wouldn't have to keep teaching it until kids reached high school - where they have to learn advanced math. They could just go from math to advanced math in easy simple step - not take 8 years to get there!
I think this teacher should get his/her own infomercial! He/She could revolutionize the field of mathematics! Earn the Nobel Prize for Peace - because math is so frustrating it causes people to fight!
Think about it World...one Math to rule us all!

Beating A Dead Spouse

Topeka, Kansas has a new motto, "Live Here and You Can Beat Your Spouse With No Fear of Reprisal."
The name Kansas has long been associated with violence - "Kansas" City anyone? But, the state has decided that since Kansas City isn't a city in Kansas, they would make violence a universal concept associated with the name.
Lawmakers in the city decided that prosecuting domestic violence is way too costly and are in the process of debating a measure to decriminalize it. I guess decriminalizing marijuana was worse than letting a man beat his wife. After all people smoking weed are liable to laugh and eat Funions which we can't allow, while abusive husbands keep hospital staff employed. And we need to keep people working, right?
Basically, the state is saying bar fights with men beating on other men while intoxicated bad, drunk men beating their wives at home is perfectly acceptable behavior. Pretty soon they may decriminalize murder so long as it was your spouse that you killed!
If laws that keep victims safe from the ones they trust most aren't worth keeping, then why keep laws at all? I mean look at it this way: Knowing that my wife could cold-cock me with a lead pipe for just smiling makes me smile. It isn't assault and battery it's a kinky love game gone wrong. Today's safe word is aardvark and even though I was screaming it until I passed out from the pain, there is a realistic expectation that she couldn't  understand the words since she knocked out all my teeth and I was gurgling a lot.
Nothing says love like stitches and surgeries to stop the bleeding.
Since no one ever cares about anything that happens in Kansas, I wonder if any other states will follow suit? Can you imagine if domestic violence was decriminalized in California? They already have public nudity, now they could have public nude domestic violence with bitch slapping and valley girl accents!
This isn't the first time that a state has allowed such things though...my home state of Georgia has a law on the books that allows a man to beat his wife in front of the court house with a belt one Sunday a month. The bitch deserved it because she made me dinner every night, took care of my kids, cleaned my house, and worked a full time job. If I didn't beat her ass, she may think I could help with those things. Or worse, make me get a real job! We all know Pimping ain't easy!
So what's next Kansas? Eliminate laws on child abuse? Rape? Jay-walking?
I have an idea! Let's allow the victims of domestic violence to beat the ever loving shit out of the people who vote to approve this measure! Oh wait...that won't work...you can only escape jail time if you are in a relationship with them at the time...