Today's Lesson Was A Little X-Rated

Nothing says prizes for children like x-rated images! Schools in Tallahassee, Florida, are scrambling like a crack addict looking for a fix to recover the accidental porn they passed out to students of Jay Elementary School.
How someone accidentally gives 7 year olds porn is beyond me, but somehow this is exactly what happened!
It all started when teachers of Jay Elementary wanted to reward the students for their parts in helping raise money for a fundraiser. Instead of opting for pizza and a movie in class - possibly because of the price - they instead ordered some cheap bracelets off of the internet. The bracelets known as "slap bracelets" were a cloth covered piece of plastic that acted as a spring when hit against a person's wrist. One curious child decided to see what was actually under the cloth and got an eyeful - of naked women. I guess they shouldn't have ordered the bracelets from Jugs.com.
The bracelets were handed out to around 160 students. That's a lot of soft core action! Apparently the manufacturers felt that the target consumer of this product would be grown men looking for a cheap penile ring. The idea that a bracelet that activates by slapping someone with it would appeal to children was beyond their understanding!
It would be like having to tickle Elmo in a private spot being the only way to make him giggle! Actually, it's the easiest way to make me giggle...
It's just a good thing they didn't also order the poonani sports bottle that shows an attractive girl stripping as the bottle is emptied. Or maybe the "smells like sex" crayon and coloring book set. This adorable gift shows your kids where babies really do come from - and has scratch and sniff stickers! Allegedly the next item they planned to give away as a prize was phallic shaped Blow Pop ring!
Parent's have been understanding overall in this ordeal and have worked with school officials to return the Hustler approved sex toys. The school is convinced some students may keep the bracelets instead of returning them...that's like being convinced that fat people will eat cake if it is offered - it doesn't take a large suspension of disbelief to know what will happen!
If anyone in Tally has one of the offending bracelets I would love to see it - for research purposes!

I Get Off On My Addiction

The bad economy has driven many people to places they would rather not be. Bankruptcy. Homelessness. Despair. Depression. And in some of these cases, the victims become the victimizer. Resorting to petty crimes to stay afloat and alive in these difficult times.
Amanda Rose Owens is one such victim turned aggressor.

Amanda had been struggling to pay her bills. She owed hundreds in debt. And she was afraid to miss out on her personal addiction, so she broke into a neighbors house in East Bethel, Minnesota, on 3 separate occasions in a one week period.

The first time she pilfered a camera.

The next time a briefcase.

And the third time a jar of money valued at around $300.

After the second break-in homeowner Darin Pake set up a security surveillance system in order to catch his mystery thief. And lo and behold...it was poor little 18 year old Amanda.

When confronted by police, Amanda allegedly admitted everything...including her reason for the robberies...she is addicted to porn! Amanda had purchased between 20 and 30 new hardcore DVDs and needed a way to pay for them. But rather than become a porn star herself and make money doing something she obviously enjoyed, she decided to break into her neighbors house to rip him off instead.

Amanda must have liked her porn doggy-style, because the video of her break-in shows her entering through the doggy door. It isn't clear what kind of porn she was into though, which is a shame. Maybe she was into Girl-on-Girl? Or most likely, she was into the hapless babysitter being taken advantage of - since she was normally invited into Mr. Pake's residence to babysit his children!

The sad part is that you can get most porn for free on the Internet! So why would you ever need to pay for it? Also, everyone knows that one kinky couple in each town, so just ask to film them and bam! Problem solved! She could also have uploaded a few videos of herself doing an erotic dance and quite possibly made enough money to pay for her addiction. Although, as far as addictions go, isn't porn safer than crack?

Sadly, if this is a real addiction, then she will probably get off...of the charges which carry up to a $20,000 fine and a year in jail.

It's too bad her number is unlisted because she could gain major street cred in the phone sex hotline business now.

Spanking The Monkey Has Taken On A Whole New Meaning...Thanks PETA!

Bestiality has a new champion in the form of P.E.T.A.
The animal lovers have finally come out of the closet so to speak by announcing a new business venture - PETA Porn!
The group is thinking of changing the meaning of their anagram to the Pornographic  Entertaining and Talented Animals.
That's because starting sometime after November but before Christmas, P.E.T.A. plans to release a XXX website to help draw attention to the plight of animals. I mean, what could better explain animal cruelty than reverse cowgirl?
The group is known for using scantily dressed models at their events, so shooting hardcore porn is the next obvious step to protesting fur...after all most porn stars are shaved. This begs the question of execution...how will this work?
Spokesperson and Associate Director of Campaigns, Lindsay Rajt claims that "the organization should use every outlet to speak out for animals." I guess this includes pigs of the human male variety.
Rajt promises hardcore videos that will be occasionally interrupted by images of abused animals and commercials that explain their suffering...I know nothing turns me than watching porn that has commercials of malnourished and horribly disfigured dogs and cats.
That kind of video would make me want a cheeseburger so I could have dinner and a show.
As an animal based website, does this mean they would have videos of donkey shows? Wouldn't that really "show" how much they "love" the animals?
Will animal celebrities like Shamu or Kermit the Frog been featured in the adult films?
I would love to attend the next Adult Entertainment Expo that P.E.T.A. debuts in.
This isn't the first time the activist group has used odd and extreme measures to promote an agenda no one really cares about. They once ran a billboard ad of a very large woman with the slogan "Save the whales. Lose the blubber. Eat Vegetarian." They also launched a comic book style ad at children with a cartoony woman trying to stab a rabbit in a comic book titled "Your Mommy Kills Animals!"
This all from a group that I mentioned in a previous blog, that euthanized over 3/4 of the animals they bring in to their shelters each year.
I am also curious at how the groups followers will feel about being a part of the porn industry. The group portrays itself as the average person, but I have never made a pornographic movie....not for lack of trying but from lack of willing participants. Will Sally the Vegetarian Housewife embrace the groups new direction? And if this is indicative of the groups forward thinking and members of an organization must be okay with this direction, does this mean that the sickly looking vegan girl would be willing to film a threesome with me as long as we promise to say "hurting animals is bad" when we are done? Of course, I would want to make sure that she only looked sickly first, but after that...
Anyways, this is an idea I can get off on - uh I mean get on board with P.E.T.A., so I say if what you need to save a few chickens is to swallow a few cocks then go for it.